depression, my best friend Lyrics – Scrim

depression, my best friend Lyrics by Scrim is a new english song by Scrim. The track is released on Scrim’s official YouTube channel, written by Scott Arceneaux Jr., produced by Budd Dwyer, and is part of the album via crucis. With its raw emotional depth and introspective tone, this track delivers a haunting, melancholic soundscape that blends vulnerability with dark, poetic honesty.

In depression, my best friend, Scrim opens a window into the emotional trenches of addiction, despair, and mental illness. The lyrics navigate feelings of hopelessness and self-destruction, painting a deeply personal portrait of someone spiraling under the weight of depression and trauma. Rather than romanticizing pain, the song confronts it head-on, portraying the daily battles with medication, emotional numbness, and an unrelenting fear of stillness. Throughout the track, Scrim treats depression not as an enemy but as a familiar companion—one that both suffocates and sustains him.

depression, my best friend Details

depression, my best friend Lyrics

[Intro]
Lonely boy

[Chorus]
Blood on my feet, I been runnin’ so long
I’ll never change and she’ll hope that I’m wrong
She’ll say I’m damaged and it’s time to move on
I’m poppin’ Xanax, spiraled out on the lawn
Molly got me feeling like I just might die (Yeah)
Too scared to close my eyes
Too scared to close my eyes
My demons, they always like to wait ’til night
Too scared to close my eyes
Too scared to

[Post-Chorus]
Not get high
Too scared to
I can’t

[Verse]
Ooh, hurts too much to breathe, and love ain’t saving me
Ooh, so use me while you can, before that trigger squeeze
Depression, my best friend
Last house on the block, by a dead end
Wrestling with questions
But if I ever knew the truth, I’d be dead then
Woah, woah

[Chorus]
Blood on my feet, I been runnin’ so long (I’ve been runnin’ so long )
I’ll never change and she’ll hope that I’m wrong (She’ll hope that I’m wrong)
She’ll say I’m damaged and it’s time to move on (It’s time to move on)
I’m poppin’ Xanax, spiraled out on the lawn (Spiraled out on the lawn)
Molly got me feeling like I might just die (Yeah)
Too scared to close my eyes
Too scared to close my eyes (Too scared to)
My demons, they always like to wait ’til night (Yeah)
Too scared to close my eyes
Too scared to (Too scared to)

[Post-Chorus]
Not get high (Too scared to, to scared to)
Too scared to (Too scared to, to scared to)
I can’t

[Outro]
No
Ooh, hurts too much to breathe, and love ain’t savin’ me
No, no
So use me while you can before that trigger squeeze
Depression, my best friend
Last house on the block, by a dead end
Been wrestling with questions
But if I ever knew the truth, I’d be dead then
It’s a smash

depression, my best friend Lyrics Meaning

[Intro]
The intro is brief yet telling. “Lonely boy” immediately introduces the listener to Scrim’s state of mind—isolated, emotionally raw, and stripped down to his most vulnerable self. It sets the tone for the confessional that follows, where loneliness becomes the backdrop to deeper struggles.

[Chorus]
The chorus captures the song’s central emotional core: the physical and psychological exhaustion of living with depression and addiction. Scrim metaphorically describes the toll of running from his demons, with blood on his feet symbolizing prolonged suffering. He acknowledges the judgment of others, particularly a woman who sees him as damaged but hopes for his change. However, Scrim remains firmly locked in a destructive cycle, numbing his pain with drugs while fearing the silence and darkness of night. The repetition of being “too scared to close my eyes” speaks to the terrifying intimacy of facing one’s thoughts and the grip of internal torment.

[Post-Chorus]
This fragment further emphasizes Scrim’s dependency on substances as a coping mechanism. His fear isn’t just of nightmares but of existing without the buffer of being high. The phrase “I can’t” reflects emotional paralysis and the inability to escape from the constant weight of his mental state, adding a layer of helplessness to the addiction narrative.

[Verse]
In the verse, Scrim lays bare the depth of his despair. Breathing itself becomes painful, and love is no longer a salvation. Instead, he views himself as disposable, asking to be used before he’s gone. By personifying depression as his “best friend,” Scrim illustrates a tragic familiarity with his mental illness—he knows it better than anyone else. The image of living in the “last house on the block, by a dead end” symbolizes both emotional and literal dead ends, reinforcing the sense of isolation. Wrestling with existential questions, he confesses that knowing the truth might be too much to bear, hinting at suicidal ideation with chilling honesty.

[Chorus]
The repeated chorus reinforces the ongoing cycle of Scrim’s inner chaos. It’s not just a momentary breakdown—it’s a lifestyle shaped by repeated trauma, hopelessness, and the inability to escape one’s own mind. His dependence on substances like Xanax and Molly is shown not as indulgence but as desperate survival tactics.

[Post-Chorus]
With each repetition, the post-chorus becomes more haunting. Scrim’s fear of sobriety and his perceived need to stay high show how addiction and mental health struggles feed into each other, creating a loop that feels impossible to break. The layering of “too scared to” mimics the spiraling thoughts of someone trapped in constant anxiety and dread.

[Outro]
The outro reaffirms the verse’s pain, echoing the same lines with slightly more emotional fatigue. The plea to be used before death, the personification of depression, and the ongoing search for meaning all return with a sense of finality. Scrim doesn’t present a resolution—only a resigned acceptance of the reality he’s been living. The phrase “It’s a smash” at the end may serve as a bitter contrast, implying that even in his darkest moments, the song connects powerfully with others.

depression, my best friend Official Video

via crucis Songs

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